Since I’ve been living with Dominic away from home, my circle has changed but now with Ava it changed again.
But let me start from the beginning
Yes, I know a lot of people but I am not close to all of them.
Friendships are really important to me. I’m a very social, honest & open person. Not everyone can handle this but also we all are from a different places. Luckily I got along with like 95% of the people I’ve met so far.
I had to adjust to some people & their character – quiet, like to be alone or just not as open as I am. But we got all along very well because at the end we all sit in the same boat & we are in a different country for our men.
I got really close to one of the girls who is in the same lifestyle as I am. She even flew out to my surprise baby shower! (I cried like a waterfall because I didn’t expect my friends to do that for me).
But these are not the only new girls I met. I also met the Ladies from Dominics friends – their wives or girlfriends. Here is the struggle I only spend like maximal 2 months in Portland, every summer since 4 years & these can go by fast. I clicked with some of them & I am still in touch with them while I’m gone. While i talk to the other ladies occasionally or hear from them when I’m back in Portland.
I’m not mad at that but that is mostly the reason that i can’t develop deep friendships.
I am still in touch with my friends in Munich by texts or calls. But we all know it is not the same as sitting in the same room where you can hug your friend.
Of course when I go home & I see my friends & it feels like I was never gone but until this happens i feel sometimes down & lonely.
Its not necessarily jealousy more like homesick?! I can’t describe this feeling. I guess when you’re sick & you can’t do anything is the closest feeling. That’s when I get lonely & have to put my phone away.
It is easy to say for me that they just could hop on a plane on a weekend & come to see us. But that’s how I feel sometimes. Like the famous sentence: out of sight out of mind.
& now we have Ava. My circle of friends has changed again. Some people who were associates before are now my friends just because they have a kid as well & we can talk about similar stuff now.
And with other friends I am not as close anymore as I was before.
Of course Ava is loved by my friends, Ava’s 1st Birthday Party is proof enough. The party is the reason why I chose this topic, because I appreciate my friends even more now & it got me thinking how my friendships with everyone started.
But I think I speak for every mom that even though you have a baby now you still get lonely from time to time. You are not as flexible anymore. Going to a restaurant is not easy or the right location, Playgrounds are now the new hotspots for us. The moms in my lifestyle can’t just give their baby to a random person to watch them so this really gets difficult. But again every mom is different.
Over the years friendships come & go but it doesn’t necessarily means that a friendship has to end in a fight. Some are just not involved in your life anymore & you have to move on. I lost friendships as well but I am not crying over them because if they decide not to be a part of my live so be it. My priorities are my family & my self well-being.
I just wanted to write this Blog so maybe more people can relate to moms now. That we might be lonelier then we want to admit because we don’t want to look weak or desperate for attention.
If you need someone to talk to or occasionally to text with – feel free to contact me, I would be more than happy to be there for you.
